Jerry Carino of the Courier News (Bridgewater NJ) recently interviewed me concerning the latest batch of out-of-control parents in the news (see link below). I was pleasantly surprised when I read the published article that Jerry actually had a plan. He suggested a “Parent Pledge” to be read and signed by each parent before his or her child can participate in an organized youth sport. This idea, in and of itself, is not unique. It has already been implemented in many athletic programs across the country. But, what is unique to Jerry’s plan is the mode of distribution. Instead of adding a new and separate item (subject to being lost before reaching the parent’s hands) to the already abundant collection sent home by both youth organizations and schools, Jerry recommends incorporating this new, educational tool into the permission slip; an existing document that has long been established; a document that parents are already conditioned to sign and return. Jerry suggested that the NJSIAA should consider the idea of a pledge; they also need to consider this simple, yet effective means of distribution. http://www.c-n.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060923/SPORTS03/609230351/1002/NEWS06

We have, once again, another fine example of a parent gone out of control in Stockton, California. This story, accompanied with full color video, has captured the nation’s attention. But, we know that this is just one of a multitude of incidences of violence by parents in youth sports. For those of you who may have missed this story, here’s an encapsulation:

An assistant coach of a youth football team, after observing a late hit on his son, attacked the offending player, running into the kid and shoving him to the ground. The kid suffered minor injuries, but the damaging effects of this parent’s attack are reverberating throughout the youth sports world.

It’s not news when kids play a game, have fun, and go home. It’s only news when there is violence, or abuse or kids being damaged in some way. The reality is that these violent parents are a very small percentage of youth sport parents. The overwhelming majority are supportive and helpful. But, wait a minute; this father was a volunteer coach, who was helping to make football available to the youth of his town. Is he a violent man? No, according to police he doesn’t have a record. What went wrong? Well, according to the man’s lawyer, this game was fraught with late hits by the opposing team; one resulting in his other son’s spleen rupturing. So, by the time this parent/coach saw another late hit on his other son, I guess he couldn’t take it anymore. But, he didn’t attack the referee (who did, in fact, make the call on the late hit), or the coach of the offending player; he attacked a kid, and that cannot be tolerated.

The Diocese of Cleveland has stepped up to plate and set minimum playing time standards for CYO basketball. Every fourth through sixth grader will play a minimum of half the game. Seventh grade and up will have to play a minimum of a quarter. This is a bold move that, ultimately, will build better high school teams.

How is that, you say? Consider what happens to many kids who do not develop as quickly as their teammates. In our win-at-all-costs world of sports, only the best get to play, no matter the age. The kids whose bodies have not developed as fast as their teammates often get relegated to the bench, and many of them will never have the opportunity to get off. As their friends get more playing time, they develop better skills. If the benchwarmer doesn't get frustrated and quit, he will find himself lagging further and further behind his teammates. By insisting on balanced playing time for all, the Diocese will have a broader base of talent to draw from when these kids get to high school.

Youth sports should not be about finding the talent, developing them and letting the rest fall by the wayside. Every kid's body grows at a different rate, so a coach may miss out on finding that he has a super guard at ten. If that kid had ridden the bench until then, he may be ready to play at ten, but without the basic skills his teammates have developed over the years, the coach will not see his talent. If this kid had equal playing time, then his skills would be ready when his body is, and this coach will have his star guard.